The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
