Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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