is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
