he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I've blown a few things in my day
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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