im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
