Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
