Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Is this making any sense, because Iβm puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize