i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize