you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
