You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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