I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Sorry about my life...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
