8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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