I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
