Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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