their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
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If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
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I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize