just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
