Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
me + whiskey = a bad person
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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