Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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