so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
