I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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