Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
