I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
