I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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