Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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