the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize