i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
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My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
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Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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