So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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