Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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