Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
