I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
