i used baking grease as lip gloss
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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