Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
