We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
