apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
