Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
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My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
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YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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