Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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