Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
