just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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