We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
