I'm lost and stupid without you.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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