The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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