I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize