Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
