so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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