thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
