I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize