Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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