I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She's the barista slut.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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