the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i believe in u and ur pee
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize