your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
ok first of all what the fuck
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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