I murdered the dance floor call the cops
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
