guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
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I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
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Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
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