i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
