Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
