That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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