these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
