if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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