ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
This girl is more easily done than said...
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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