I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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