Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize