ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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