I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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