when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
