yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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