So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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