I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
