Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
