What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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