ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
