THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
